Two Essays for English

Havent updated in a while.  When school is over th mega update shall come.

Paradoxical Opinion

This story will lack “proper” structure.  This paper is being turned in extremely late, this paper probably wont even be a paradox.  I don’t really have any ideas about what to write about, except my life in the last couple of months.  Mostly it will probably just be issues I’ve been thinking about  as of late.

I got put in Daily high school, my family shunned me for getting kicked out of Clark.  My GPA was crap, I didn’t care about school at all.  Nothing school wise mattered to me.  I actually managed to shut my brain off enough so I would stop thinking about how BS school is.  The entire school year has consisted of me going to school and making sure not to think enough, in fear that my brain would convince myself to not do anything in rebellion.  So far I have been pretty successful.  Looks like I will graduate too.

After leaving Clark basically my entire life spun around.  My family was very disappointed in me, but my life had taken such a huge turn for the better.  I somehow managed to get a girlfriend, my first girlfriend.  My first kiss at 17, how pathetic is that.  Women actually started talking to me.  I actually started working out, I started learning Arnis.  I got some more control over my life, FINALLY.  I started making money, I started getting respect.  People actually started taking me seriously.  How is it that when I am going to the “good” school, everyone thinks that I am just an emotional teenager that has no idea what he is talking about.  The moment I go to Daily though, the “bad” school.  I am taken seriously, I suddenly know what I am talking about.

I bought a car, one of the cars I always hoped to own.  A 1990 2 door Volkswagen golf GTI.  I delved into the mechanics world, within a couple weeks I basically learned exactly how an engine works and most of its components.  Of course with my luck I basically made a very bad decision.  I still have to figure out the pink slip situation, and the car needs a new engine.  I owned it for 30 days and go to drive it a total of 10 because it kept breaking.  For some reason even with it broken now I don’t care much, just can’t wait to fix it and get everything settled.

I have always known you never stop learning thoughout life, that you never stop learning.  I started noticing things about the older generations, things that mostly annoyed me.  My new biggest pet peeve, is older experience adults that say to keep your judgements and be calm.  I hate when they say this and in the next 5 minutes make a stupid emotional decision, that shows they have the emotional control of a 5 year old.  Why is it that the older “experienced” generation can go on and give all this great advice and then it total hypocritical fashion, show they can’t take their own advice?

My theory on the older generations is that they only mean good.  They went though a whole lot more than anything my generation has had to go through.  Mainly because the older generations have done everything for us, which has had a negative impact.  My generation hardly has to work for anything, the older generations care for us so much they basically give us everything on a silver platter.  They do this because they don’t want us to have to go through the same stuff they did.  It’s a honorable act… but now the youth don’t care, nor want to try.  Nobody wants to do anything if everything is handed to them. 

How can people in the U.S. be so ignorant.  We have hardcore atheists and religious extremists.  It is as if almost no one can communicate, it sad and stupid.  Why shouldn’t under god be removed from the pledge of allegiance and in god we trust be taken off our money?  They were added during the 50’s.  Before the 50’s none of that existed.  We did it to separate ourselves from godless soviet Russia.  The entire situation makes no sense, the cold war is over.  We should change everything back to the way it was.  The only reason I even have the opinion that we should do that is because most Christians seem to think it has always been that way.  Christians in the media think they are holy and better than everyone else.  It is a load of crap, they need to grow up and learn that they aren’t the only ones in existence.  Atheists need to stop being such pompous smartasses that think they can solve it all with science.  It is both, science is true and religion is true.  None of this could exist without some kind of greater power.  Science however also is correct, evolution did happen.  The real truth lays somewhere in between the two groups.

Life is just a bunch of events strung together, none of it really makes any sense.  At the same time that’s life and you have to make some sense out of it.  When humanity eventually evolves as a whole, maybe the world will turn to the better and the future of the planet will not look so bleak.

The second essay

Quest for the Fluffy Bunny

Space.  The deep blackness of space.  Alone floats a small ship, lightly armed.  Captain Mark of the Falconian Interceptor, sits in his quarters.  Reading a map, he quickly hurries out of his quarters.  He hurries to the command deck where his crew awaits.

“How close are we to the planet Fulf?” commands Mark.

“We should land on the surface in 15 minutes, captain” responds Bill.

Mark had received a treasure map on the last planet they visited, it spoke of a fluffy bunny.  A bunny so fluffy, it is the most amazing fluffy bunny in the entire universe.  Mark having a fascination with Bunnies since childhood, instantly sent his treasure hunting crew to find this fluffy bunny. 

“Notify me when we are about to land.” Mark tells the crew.

Mark goes back to his quarters and plans where they will search on the planet surface first.  He goes to the cargo hold to make sure their “Hunter,” a all terrain floating truck, is outfitted and ready to go.

Mark’s radio crackles to life.  Bill, the pilot’s voice comes over the radio.

“We are about to land captain.”

“Have the crew meet me in the cargo hold”

“aye, sir.”

Mark can feel the excitement in his chest, he WILL find this fluffy bunny.  He will not stop until the fluffy bunny is his.

The crew comes into the cargo hold, dressed in wilderness gear.  They are ready to find this fluffy bunny.  Bill jumps in the driver seat, Mark jumps in the passenger seat.  The rest of the crew hops in the back.  The cargo hold doors slide open with a his, and the sunlight blinds them for a moment.  Outside the world is an almost alien green, the vegetation is lush. 

“Bill, I want to start searching two clicks east”

“Aye captain.”

The Hunter speeds away from the ship, the cargo bay door sliding closed behind them.  The planet is quiet, it is uninhabited.  They see a forest line, the hunter speeds into it.

“Careful Bill we don’t need to crash this thing.”

“Sorry captain.”

The Hunter slows down slightly, still speeding through the forest.  Mark sighs, Bill has such a need for speed.

“Ok stop here Bill.”

The speeder slowly comes to a stop and drops to the ground.  Everybody hops out.

“Ok fan out and search the area, remember this bunny  is extremely fluffy.  Bill you follow me.”

The crew disappears into the forest.  Mark and Bill head off away from the rest of the crew, the hunt is on.

“How do we know if we have found the right bunny captain?”

“It will obviously be extremely fluffy, we should be able to tell from sight alone.”

The forest is silent, it seems unnaturally quiet for a forest.  The sounds of wildlife are not present.

“Sir, are you sure this is the correct planet.  There does not seem to be any wildlife here.”

“I am sure Bill, this is where the treasure map said to go.”

They hear a yelp off in the distance, then Mark’s radio crackles.

“Sir, come quick I think we have found something.”

“C’mon Bill lets go check it out.”

Mark and Bill rush off towards the sound of the yelp.  They come to a clearing, there stands two of the crew members.

“Look captain!”

In the middle of the clearing is an old tree stump.  Suddenly a fluffy bunny comes out of it, its fur so shiny it gleams in the sun.

“There it is!  Quick Bill, call the rest of the crew.”

“Aye sir.”

You hear Bill’s radio crackle and some commands being said.  Mark cannot take his eyes off the fluffy bunny, it is amazing.  He knows he needs this bunny, it is his destiny to have this bunny.  The rest of the crew comes out of the trees, all eyes are on the bunny.

“Ok, lets surround the fluffy bunny and catch it”

The crew moves into position, and slowly starts moving in.  The fluffy bunny doesn’t seem anxious.  In fact the fluffy bunny seems unnormally calm for a wild animal.  The crew starts getting closer, Mark simply walks up and picks up the bunny.

“Well the was unnormally easy, back to the ship crew!”

As the crew starts to walk back to the ship, Mark is worried that something is wrong.  It shouldn’t have been that easy to attain the bunny.  As soon as he thinks this, a hideous black lanky troll monster comes out of the brush.  Everyone is frozen with fear.

“whos dareth tac ma bunny away!” screams the troll.

Mark,  scared but still the captain, steps forward and challenges

“I Mark the treasure hunter have come to attain this amazingly fluffy bunny.”

“Tha be no good, na one tac me buuny!”

The troll charges for Mark.  Mark’s valiant crew jumps in front of him and attempt to fight him off.  The troll is too strong and fast though and easily kills half of his crew in a matter of seconds.

“EVERYONE RUN FOR THE SHIP!” yells Mark.

Everyone still alive starts running for the ship.  The troll chases after them, picking off those in the back.  Mark can see the ship, sweat dripping off his forehead, Bill is 10 paces ahead.  Bill gets into the cargo hold first, and screams at Mark to hurry.  Just as Mark gets his foot on the ramp to the cargo hold.  Bill snatches the fluffy bunny out of his hands and pushes him out of the hold with a nasty sneer.

“Sorry Mark, but the fluffy bunny is MINE!”

Mark yells in frusteration and terror as he is thrown aside by the troll.  The Cargo hold closes before the troll can get in, the ship takes off and flies away.  Mark doesn’t know what to do, he is hurt and tired.  The troll slowly walks towards him.

“Yoo must pay fer tacen ma bunny!”

“I am sorry cant we just be friends?”

The trolls face goes from a grimace to happiness.

“Ok we can go play wit da other fluffy bunnies!”

Mark and the troll lived happily ever after living in a field of awesomely fluffy bunnies for the rest of their days.

THE END

 

I am trying to think about what to write about

I don’t have much to write as of late except that i basically dislike everything that is going on with it at the moment.  It isnt that bad i just dislike it.  I mean school is being super stupid, i keep being given a bunch of busy work.  The teachers even agree with me that it is just busy work and shouldnt be required, but no one can change it unfortunately.  Hopefully one day i can change that all, that would rock.  Maybe i could help society in making homework illegal again or something… or not.  I mean really what do i care, why should i give a shit that schools are basically just giant crappers.  Or maybe i should shit in it, maybe then it’ll be happy and just go away   In all seriousness though wtf, they basically ask for it everyday and i refuse to give it to them and they get all pissy about it.  Why wouldn’t they want quality work and things that showed that I as a student can think?  To tell you the truth i think the $25k that taxes pay for me to go to school should pay for more than a giant craphole.  Maybe we could just pay for me to figure shit out on my own and adopt a system where the strongest survive.  Now that doesn’t mean that i think that i would survive, on the contrary i think actually that i wouldnt survive.  I just think it would help with not only the over population thing but create some much needed competition.  Schools shouldnt be giant crapholes students go to to sleep in.  I mean i would much rather spend my time learning something.  Maybe though im just a naive stupid little shit kid that thinks he knows what he is talking about… who knows.  Still schools should be giant crapholes to sleep in, it stinks there.

Responsibility is Life

I have been working on some of my issues as of late, as they have been surfacing and making my emotions all haywire. I conquered a huge issue of mine, or an event in my life I had been hiding from for a while. After coming to to terms with the event, with the help of my beautiful girlfriend. I decided to write an essay about it to further gain control of this event and refuse to let it haunt me.

Life is Responsibility

In every person’s life, they have many life changing events that mold and shape the person they become.  Some of those events are good and some of them are bad experiences.  Whether the experience is good or bad matters not.  The only thing that does matter is how you feel about what happened, and what changed you.  Understanding the why and how of what the experience was, allows you to appreciate what happened.  Even in a bad instance, understanding the bad experience allows you to gain control over it.  By understanding, the bad memories will no longer haunt us.  Most of the time people have things they regret, but if they just understood what happened then I believe they would not.  If something you regret did not happen, then you would be a totally different person. 

I just happen to have an extremely bad experience that I have just come to terms with, that is a perfect example of how there is no need to regret anything in life. 

When I was about 12 or 13, I don’t quite remember my exact age at the time; I attended teen camp in Verdugo Park.  For some reason there weren’t enough counselors to watch over the kids that day.  With the lack of authority around, students got out of control and did some stupid things.  One of these things happened to include me.  Two other kids got me to go into the bathroom with them.  I was bound and gagged and put into one of the stalls.  I was held there for about three hours and randomly beat up.  After the three hours I was let go and I never spoke of it again.

It was and is a bad experience of mine, probably my worst.  I had in a way deleted or forgotten the memory some how.  It started a lot of my problems.  Some of them being: demanding perfection of myself, paranoia, not being able to trust anyone, extreme hate for everything that moved, and other such things.

Two weeks ago I remembered that this had happened; the memories haunted me for a while.  I figured I needed to talk about this event to gain some more control over it.  I spoke to my girlfriend, who happened to save me from that unhealthy state of mind.  After finally working up the courage to tell her I cried a bit.  After letting out the pain though I was able to think logically about the incident.  I now had control over the memory, it was no controlling me.  I realize that this incident is an extremely huge event in my life.  It affected me very deep down without me realizing it.  I understand what happened now and I have no need to regret the event.  I do not wish for revenge or anything of the sort.  For years I had bottled this up and it has given me lots of anger.  With the understanding I have now though, much of that anger is gone.  No longer do I pity myself or believe I am a victim of a bad event.  If I could go back I wouldn’t change a thing.  This event shaped me, the short term effects of it were bad.  The long term effects though are great.  I am a better person for understanding more of who I am as a person deep down.  I no longer hold the extremely pessimistic view of the planet.  The event changed my outlook on life, and now understanding that event has changed my outlook on life again. 

I feel free and powerful, for I get to choose how I feel about every single thing that happens to me.  It seems to me I have what almost every person in the world wants, freedom and power.  My freedom and power are healthy though, I do not control others.  I only control myself and by understanding the events of my life, whether good or bad.  I am taking responsibility for my actions and for the things that happen to me.  You should be the most powerful person in your life.  For no one controls what you feel or do.  I know that in my life and am ultimately the most powerful.

..been a while

Ya once again it has been a long time since ive posted anything, i really dont have anything to say.  School sucks like usual, im starting to run now.  I walk my girlfriend home from school.  Thats about it, though I did get extremely excited about the movie “300″ that is coming out in March.  I watched the two trailers 112 times each so ya… other than that nothing has really been happening.  Whitecave covered Ken’s car with shaving cream on New Year’s eve and ya… I got Star Wars Legacy which really pleases the trekkie in me.  My girlfriend’s mom loves guitar hero which is awsome… yup ok im gonna go sleep.

pre-Winter Solstice

Yup It is almost here, Winter Solstice for me, Christmas, Hanukkah, or whatever you celebrate is coming up for others. I am excited that the days will soon start to get longer, Im tired of this cold darkness all the time. Weird though that I like the Moon more than the Sun. Whatever haha, well I have been working on a gift for my girlfriend, Emily, for some time now. I think I did a good job, it is really neat and actually has meaning instead of a lame mean nothing cliche christmas gift that everyone likes to give around this time. Now I have no given it to her yet, and I want it to be a suprise so I can tell everyone what it is quite yet. Once I give it to her I will write another post tell the few people who actually read this what happened. I will post pictures of the gift and stuff like that too, I spent a good 3-4 hours on it so ya. The ENTIRE gift is the present, nothing needs to be thrown away. The ENTIRE thing has meaning and is part of the gift. I am sure she will absolutely love it. Anyways, the new blog layout isnt even started yet haha. Really and truly I dont have the slightest clue when I will build it. Maybe if my laptop could function as a laptop I would use it more often and actually work on it but whatever. I hope everyone has a good holiday. I am now part of the ASB at my school, we had a potluck party today. I made meatballs with a super awsome recipe that my stepmom hooked me up with. Everyone loved them and complimented me. Also my Xbox Live Gold membership ran out today now I cant play Gears of War with Stephen, hopefully I will be getting the year membership I asked for. If not I will buy one after the holidays. My Nintendo Wii is still keeping me occupied so at least I am not bored. Tomorrow I am going to help set up for an Arnis tournament I will be participating in. Saturday is the day of the tournament, I have trained only one day out of the week due to being so busy. I do not expect to win, but I am going in with a winning attitude. If you were to ask me if I am going to win, I would respong with a “FUCK YA!” in a nonchalant what kind of question is that attitude. Anyways I will post about that too, and hopefully get some pictures. Mark needs me to do this for his Senior project at Clark. Life if pretty good at the moment, just busy. I am no going to go watch Clerks 2 becuase I have not seen it for some reason I cannot seem to decipher. Once again, have a happy holiday!

Whitecave operation: Ninja Pirate

haha ok so Whalen had to go do this thing for an English class or something. It was at Glendale High in the cafeteria. Supposedly only kids from the classes were allowed to come back Whalen brought me anyways XD. Anyways so ya, we played it cool at first, i made sure not to attract any unecassary attention to myself, without seeming conspicuous. At one point we could see the teachers talking about me wondering who i was… they never said anything to me though. So we lined up at the doors, guys on one side girls on the other. Guys hold their arm out the girl lays hers on top of his haha. Too bad im bad with names but ya, i think her name was tracy, dont qoute me on that. We exchanged a few words and made some small talk. She wants to be a history teacher which i think totally rocks. So ya Whalen and I got seperated, so i was with Isaam and Tracy and some other people at my own table. There was food, which i hated becuase I am a picky eater. I juggled for a bit. Then we did a renaisance dance which basically just ended up being a huge clusterfuck as I like to call it. Anyways, it was a pretty good time. Whalen was pissed as fuck, not really suprising this kind of thing really isnt his bag of chips. Technically tonight I was the party crasher, so i was all excited. Teachers never said anything to me, and ya it was fun. Once again I leave the legacy of Nate behind for people to remember forever! MUAHAHHAHA. No really it was weird, basically everyone knew I was from Daily… but no one cared. Anyways it was great to finally be around some kids that dont think they are gangsters or are actually gang bangers. It was fun and real. One thing I wish though is that Emily could have come along, I am sure she would have had a blast.

Reading is not my anti-drug

I am addicted to reading… since school has started i have read 17 books.  In less than one month I have read 14 books, by the end of next week I shall have finished 3 more.  No they aren’t just short crappy books you noob!  Ive read a ton of forgotten realms books, lighting by some dood i dont remember his name, World War Z same guy who wrote the zombie survival guide, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, and Maus I and II.  I cannot believe how much I am reading but i cant seem to stop.  I am about to start reading some Anne Rice… after this i need to read 1984 by Orwell.  Then I have to absorb the Dune series like a sponge, then from their I will probably read Wicked.  My book list is like freaking long, I wonder what the world record is for most pages read in a day or how many books in a year… maybe i could break something.  I am supposed to write the books I am reading down for some GUSD thing but i keep forgetting.  All my teachers want me to join breakfast club.  I think that is dumb though cuz not only will I be asleep as they do stuff but they are going to force me to read some stupid book.  So instead I shall continue my book absorbing ways, for no other reason than there is nothing else to do… Gears of War comes to the Xbox 360 in 6 days… im not that excited but ya when i get it, thats all im gonna spend my time doing.  Until then… im feeling quite bored.

non-essay

Well I have been assigned, in my senior english class, to write a descriptive essay. Feeling horrible with a sinus headache and the such, i almost didnt write it. I figured though, why slack off… its harder not to write it HAHA. Anyways enjoy this… clever essay.

 

I Do Not Know

 

A descriptive essay of beautiful language, scrawled across a crisp white paper. An assignment I would most like not to expend energy on. No vivid thoughts or ideas come to my mind. My bulging brain is most unruly blank. So here I sit, most uncomfortably. Pondering what I should write my essay about. The sinus headache making my head throb, my mind refuses to comply. In a most clever fashion I decide to write about what is on my mind or more clearly what is not.

Nothing. Almost absolute blankness like a snowy white out storm. Why should I write this essay, it means nothing to me. Why should I, Nate, sit and spend time tapping away at my keyboard, attempting to construct a descriptive essay? The rules of a descriptive essay are binding. The rules restricting me in the same fashion as clipping a birds most delicate wings. My most amazing skill of procrastination quickly seizes my mind. Off I run to my television. Plopping down onto the smooth worn leather couch, I turn the television on, along with my sleek white video game console. Within minutes the sounds of screeching tires and the deep roar of an engine reverberate off of my shabby white walls.

I press the small rubber start button, causing the game to pause suddenly. I turn on some music, fast paced with deep beats, my morale boosts like a rocket into space. Rapidly my fingers navigate the controller, small clicking noises accompanying the crash and grinding of cars colliding. My focus goes intently to the television; the sounds of the dinner cooking on the stove slowly fade away. I feel “in the zone” every move and action feeling absolutely perfect, as if being perfectly attuned with the rest of the universe. My pride swells, my moves become more dangerous. I fall out of attunement with the universe, my virtual car making a fatal move.

I quickly and with force shut down the game console and the television. My insides slowly seething, berating myself for being too cocky. I sit down into the uncomfortable chair in front of my computer. I stare at the vibrant screen, my mind blank, and my face throbbing from my headache. Suddenly I feel overwhelmed by rationalization. Why am I slacking off, refusing to write an essay? I slowly move the cheap mouse over the rough mouse pad, I click once and Word appears on my screen. I quickly dismiss the annoying paperclip and stare at my screen blankly. No interesting topics of adventure or wonder come to mind. What should I write about?

In the end, instead of wording a most “lame” excuse of why I did not diligently type my essay… I used what I couldn’t think of as the topic of this most verbose essay. If no ideas of grandeur could enter my mind then where did the words come from? How in a state of feeling overwhelmed and sick did I come to write such an essay? Simply by manipulating my feelings and non-thought against myself, I quickly and effectively completed my assignment. I turned absolutely nothing, into something…

happy halloween

Happy Hallow’s Eve all,
Stay safe tonight. Make sure you wear gloves when inserting the razor blades in the apples and ALWAYS travel in pairs as people are easier to attack that way. Remember safety first, it can be dangerous out there. haha i did not go trick or treating this halloween… i did dress, i was a pirate.  If and when i get pictures I will post them up on my Flickr account.  I spent the night hanging out with Christian and Greg.  We went to Baja fresh and then back up to his house, where we spent the rest of the night playing Battlefront 2.  I called Whalen up to see what he was doing, turns out he is getting molested by women at Universal Studios Halloween haunt thing.  I won one of the categories in a Halloween costume contest at my school.  I received a $5 gift certificate to Innout.  My school also had a halloween fashion show… a baby fashion show.  Ya at my school girls that had kids, dressed them up and ya… paraded them around.  Kind of freaky considering its a high school but anyways ya… its was a good halloween, obviously not even close to the best halloween it could have been but none the less a good halloween.

blood rage

I had to write an essay about a life changing experience for my English class… here is it in all its glory. It also got me wondering, if they check my essay for plagarism on the internet… will it check my website? If so what happens? Should be intresting to find out. I haven’t seen Emily in almost a week and I really miss her but ya, cant wait to see her… hopefully soon. She actually distracted me from writing this for about a half an hour or so. She gives me writers block XD anyways haha, enjoy the essay.

 

Emanations of Blood Rage

Have you experienced an unstoppable rage? You, the teacher, have asked for a 5 paragraph essay asking about a traumatic or life changing experience. I am going to express both things with one story from my slightly interesting life. My story speaks of betrayal and anger. My story is about losing control, about metal and psychological growth. Though I find the typical five paragraph essay constricting to say the least I shall attempt to conform. My story begins with my best friend of four years arriving at my house.

His name was Kevin; he had just got a new airsoft gun. He called me up and, of course, I had no problem with him coming over. He was my best friend after all I trusted him. He arrives with the airsoft gun. It was a pretty big gun, gas powered. It could shoot 350-400 fps. In case you don’t know what an airsoft gun is, it is a gun that shoots small plastic BB’s about the same size as what BB guns shoot. Everything was cool; we were just hanging out like guys do. Then he got slightly offensive, threw out a couple threats. I didn’t think much of it; he was probably just trying to make sure he was the Alpha male. Stupid men and their dumbass power trips. Anyways I didn’t think anything of it. Then he asked if he could have twenty dollars. Ironically earlier that day I found a twenty in the laundry, it was the first time I had ever found money in the laundry. He then told my brother and me to sit down on the couch. I obeyed at first wondering what was up.

Then he got angry, he demanded twenty dollars. I was kind of shocked; I told him I didn’t have the money even though it was right in my pocket. He then shot my brother. I couldn’t believe it; he shot my brother from less than 6 feet away. I continued with my bluff though, I repeated that I didn’t have twenty dollars. I wanted to diffuse the situation without it coming to blows. I so desperately wanted to figure out what the ^%$# was going on. Why was my best friend doing this! He then shot me, 3 times. Damn did it sting; I could feel my rage building. My alter ego invaded my thoughts, telling me to slaughter him. I tried to fight my alter ego; no longer could I hear what anyone was saying. He kept sitting there, with a smug look on his face. I felt my muscles begin to twitch. Every muscle in my body wanted to wipe that smart ass grin off his face, wanted make him feel pain. I continued to fight myself though, hardly holding my anger in check. Then I looked over, my bro was on the verge of tears. I lost control of my anger.

I exploded; my vision clouded a deep dark red. My brain reverting to its core survival instinct. I couldn’t hear and I couldn’t see. All I could think was to kill this person, reduce him to the status of a bloody pulp on my living room floor. I shot across the living room at lightning speed, my fists slamming into the gun breaking it apart. My fists pumping to the tune of an unstoppable rage, slamming into his figure. My normal self regained some mental control, my vision started to return to normal. My fists slowed down, my brain realizing what I was doing. Kevin, finally having some room to move, punched back. His fist slamming right into my temple. I could feel myself swoon, I struggled to hold on to conciousness. I grabbed the gun away from him and opened the door. I told him “Get the $%&# out of my house.” He obeyed I threw the gun after him. I checked all the doors and windows in the house, making sure they were locked. Unable to totally comprehend what had happened, I turned on some death metal music and played Call of Duty on my computer. My mom came home and saw the massive bump on the side of my head. I never saw Kevin again.

I learned much from this incident, one the good things being that I do have personal power and the ability to stand up for myself. There were more bad effects than good though. This happened 3 years ago and to this day I still have major trust issues and paranoia. After this incident I slept with a knife under my pillow for about a year, I’ve tried hard to overcome my paranoia, now the knife resides on my bookcase less that 4 feet away. Regardless of the bad effects, I grew a lot from this experience. I understand myself better and I am no able to tap into that same energy that put me into my “blood rage” whenever I want. If I had the choice to go back and prevent that event from happening, I wouldn’t. Without this experience I wouldn’t be the person I am, I choose to let this experience build on my character. I don’t let it bring me down.