happy halloween

Happy Hallow’s Eve all,
Stay safe tonight. Make sure you wear gloves when inserting the razor blades in the apples and ALWAYS travel in pairs as people are easier to attack that way. Remember safety first, it can be dangerous out there. haha i did not go trick or treating this halloween… i did dress, i was a pirate.  If and when i get pictures I will post them up on my Flickr account.  I spent the night hanging out with Christian and Greg.  We went to Baja fresh and then back up to his house, where we spent the rest of the night playing Battlefront 2.  I called Whalen up to see what he was doing, turns out he is getting molested by women at Universal Studios Halloween haunt thing.  I won one of the categories in a Halloween costume contest at my school.  I received a $5 gift certificate to Innout.  My school also had a halloween fashion show… a baby fashion show.  Ya at my school girls that had kids, dressed them up and ya… paraded them around.  Kind of freaky considering its a high school but anyways ya… its was a good halloween, obviously not even close to the best halloween it could have been but none the less a good halloween.

when the shit hits the fan

Tonight I went to a costume party with Emily.  It was fun, i had a great time.  When i left though her mom and bro saw me.  So when i got home, greg talked to me online.  Accused me of knowing what was going on… i did to a degree.  I had asked Emily if i could go to the party with her and she said it was fine.  She didnt tell her parents i was going to be there though, i have never bothered to ask… i wasnt thinking about that i was thinking about seeing my girlfriend.  Well anyways I am banned from seeing my girlfriend in any way shape or form for some undetermind amount of time.  Its extreme faggotry.  Anyways now i am going to rant cuz im fucking pissed.  First of all her parents dont have any fucking clue.  Ya i said it, NOT A DAMN FUCKING CLUE.  I am sorry drunk dad, if all you do is drink your hiding from your past.  You dont deserve nor have the right to give Emily any advice besides, “Dont turn out as a drunk like me.”  I am pretty sure he did a lot of stuff he regrets, therefore he takes all this shit that has made him pitiful and throws it Emily’s way.  Naturally being that he is extremely over protective.  Telling her things like he would kick any guys ass that was her boyfriend and the such.  Nate the decided to ignore these threats, and not let him intimidate me.  I hold those same feelings.  I will not be intimidated or shot down by his threats because he is afraid.  Her mom also had a shitload of bad experiences.  So naturally, she believes Emily’s teen years will be EXACTLY the same as hers and make sure to shelter her from absolutely every god damned thing imaginable whether it be real or not.  Anyways, what neither of them seem to know is that if they continue doing this same stuff, Emily will probably do one of two things.  She will act out in a bad way figuring she has nothing to lose.  This could come in the form of bad grades, sneaking out, ignoring parents, and becoming distant.  Once any creature on this planet is backed into a corner it lashes out, cause and fucking effect retards.  Maybe though she will use her smarts and be able to channel her anger into a useful thing and wage a silent war upon her family.  Destroying them morally and giving them what they deserve for being such fucking dickweeds.  Kind of what i do to my family a little.  They all say they know who i am but if they really knew, they would just leave me the fuck alone.  I dont expect anything from them and i do not ask for things on a regular basis, figuring the answer will probably be no.  Why do i assume that though?  Well ever since a young age people yelled at each other for asking questions in my family, so cause and effect again, i took that to heart and now have a slight fear of asking questions of anyone in my family.  Back to Emily though,  I am guessing once she hits this stage of absolute desperateness, her parents will still refuse to see the truth and just become more strict.  I am hoping i dont lose the Emily ive come to love, i hope she is somehow able to retain some sense of self-worth and diginity if and when that happens.  Anyways, i knew all the consequences of going out with Emily.  I took them all into account before i decided to accept my feelings for her, i ignored them for a long time because of her age.  In a way i chose all of this, which reminds me of how i used to be.  My extremely hateful, self loathing, heartless bastard who hates the whole world.  Am i crazy, was the only reason i decided to be Emily’s boyfriend was because deep down somewhere i knew this would happen?  Is it once again my subconcious doing things to keep me in a certain state of mind?  I pray and hope that that is not the case, i do not know what i would do if i have betrayed myself and most of all betrayed the girl i love.  If all of this is my doing, for i cannot quite think rationally at the moment, Emily deserves non of it.  She doesn’t deserve to be toyed with.  She deserves respect and to be treated well, i have thought up until now that i have been doing that… im not so sure now, im trying to think back on all of the things ive said and done.  Have all the things ive said been from a true place of heart, i believe that they have been.  My morales would dictate so.  I am not sure though, there is doubt, and that makes me scared.  If i have a subconcious that does things without me knowing, if i truly do not have the morales i think i do, if i am the shallow guy asshole that ive said i hate… what is a man to do?

Mini GTI club

Last night i was sitting at my computer all peaceful like.  Then i get a call from an angry whalen… and he came to my house.  He was pissed for some reason we couldnt really figure out, something to do women wise but ya.  So whalen is driving at unsafe velocties.  We decide to drive down La Tuna Canyon, we were doing about 55-60 mph, werent trying to push the car just have a fun fast drive.  We pull into the left lane to pass some people when whalen notices GTI headlight in his rearview mirror.  This guy in his 2005 GTI 1.8T blows by us at about 90 mph or so.  Of course in our testosterone induced haze of manliness haha we decide to go after him.  We get up to about 90 mph and he is still taking off, we got the car up to 100 and decided to slow down, whalen’s car was at the limit.  This guy slowed down a bit though and we caught up to him and told him to pull over.  He pulled over and we started talking to him,  he had a whole ton of stuff done to his car… pushing about 250 horsepower at the crank.  His name is Beamer, pretty cool guy.  So we are talking about cars, and this guy about 50 years old is running by and asks if this is GTI club.  He comes over and starts talking to us too.  So now we have a bunch of strangers gathered on the side of la tuna canyon talking about vdubs.  It was l337, the 50 year old guy had just bought a new GTI, he took off early and we saw him drive by and by the gods could his car HAUL ASS.  Beamer informed us that the second thursday of every month at the UA a bunch of vdubbers meet up.  We had to go and Beamer’s car also hauled ass wow, 0-60 in about 6 seconds or so.  This quelled the rage in whalen a little, plus it was really awsome.  I am excited to go to the meeting next month.  Anyways it was awsome and i had a great night.

blood rage

I had to write an essay about a life changing experience for my English class… here is it in all its glory. It also got me wondering, if they check my essay for plagarism on the internet… will it check my website? If so what happens? Should be intresting to find out. I haven’t seen Emily in almost a week and I really miss her but ya, cant wait to see her… hopefully soon. She actually distracted me from writing this for about a half an hour or so. She gives me writers block XD anyways haha, enjoy the essay.

 

Emanations of Blood Rage

Have you experienced an unstoppable rage? You, the teacher, have asked for a 5 paragraph essay asking about a traumatic or life changing experience. I am going to express both things with one story from my slightly interesting life. My story speaks of betrayal and anger. My story is about losing control, about metal and psychological growth. Though I find the typical five paragraph essay constricting to say the least I shall attempt to conform. My story begins with my best friend of four years arriving at my house.

His name was Kevin; he had just got a new airsoft gun. He called me up and, of course, I had no problem with him coming over. He was my best friend after all I trusted him. He arrives with the airsoft gun. It was a pretty big gun, gas powered. It could shoot 350-400 fps. In case you don’t know what an airsoft gun is, it is a gun that shoots small plastic BB’s about the same size as what BB guns shoot. Everything was cool; we were just hanging out like guys do. Then he got slightly offensive, threw out a couple threats. I didn’t think much of it; he was probably just trying to make sure he was the Alpha male. Stupid men and their dumbass power trips. Anyways I didn’t think anything of it. Then he asked if he could have twenty dollars. Ironically earlier that day I found a twenty in the laundry, it was the first time I had ever found money in the laundry. He then told my brother and me to sit down on the couch. I obeyed at first wondering what was up.

Then he got angry, he demanded twenty dollars. I was kind of shocked; I told him I didn’t have the money even though it was right in my pocket. He then shot my brother. I couldn’t believe it; he shot my brother from less than 6 feet away. I continued with my bluff though, I repeated that I didn’t have twenty dollars. I wanted to diffuse the situation without it coming to blows. I so desperately wanted to figure out what the ^%$# was going on. Why was my best friend doing this! He then shot me, 3 times. Damn did it sting; I could feel my rage building. My alter ego invaded my thoughts, telling me to slaughter him. I tried to fight my alter ego; no longer could I hear what anyone was saying. He kept sitting there, with a smug look on his face. I felt my muscles begin to twitch. Every muscle in my body wanted to wipe that smart ass grin off his face, wanted make him feel pain. I continued to fight myself though, hardly holding my anger in check. Then I looked over, my bro was on the verge of tears. I lost control of my anger.

I exploded; my vision clouded a deep dark red. My brain reverting to its core survival instinct. I couldn’t hear and I couldn’t see. All I could think was to kill this person, reduce him to the status of a bloody pulp on my living room floor. I shot across the living room at lightning speed, my fists slamming into the gun breaking it apart. My fists pumping to the tune of an unstoppable rage, slamming into his figure. My normal self regained some mental control, my vision started to return to normal. My fists slowed down, my brain realizing what I was doing. Kevin, finally having some room to move, punched back. His fist slamming right into my temple. I could feel myself swoon, I struggled to hold on to conciousness. I grabbed the gun away from him and opened the door. I told him “Get the $%&# out of my house.” He obeyed I threw the gun after him. I checked all the doors and windows in the house, making sure they were locked. Unable to totally comprehend what had happened, I turned on some death metal music and played Call of Duty on my computer. My mom came home and saw the massive bump on the side of my head. I never saw Kevin again.

I learned much from this incident, one the good things being that I do have personal power and the ability to stand up for myself. There were more bad effects than good though. This happened 3 years ago and to this day I still have major trust issues and paranoia. After this incident I slept with a knife under my pillow for about a year, I’ve tried hard to overcome my paranoia, now the knife resides on my bookcase less that 4 feet away. Regardless of the bad effects, I grew a lot from this experience. I understand myself better and I am no able to tap into that same energy that put me into my “blood rage” whenever I want. If I had the choice to go back and prevent that event from happening, I wouldn’t. Without this experience I wouldn’t be the person I am, I choose to let this experience build on my character. I don’t let it bring me down.

Taiko Drums

Tonight a couple of Taiko drum groups were playing at occidental college.  I went with Greg, Emily YAY!!, my bro, my mom, and Emily’s mom who was kind enough to pay for my ticket which wasn’t cheap.  The group that did the Mitsubishi commercial was there.  OH WOW did it ROCK \m/>.<\m/ My testosterone got flowin like nuts, a couple times my muscles twitched a bit cuz i just want to jump up and start a fight haha.  Anyways it was absolutely awsome in every way shape and form… expecially since Emily was there.  When we were in line to get inside it looked like we were going to go see Ceasar or something haha.  OMG and in the back of the program was the most awsome of awsomest ads on the planet, check my flickr to see it.  Taiko drums absolutely roxxor.  NOODLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whitecave secret mission: happy damsel

Yesterday my friend Whalen, owner of the blog website http://www.whalesalad.com was visiting this girl he likes. Today was the GHS vs. Muir football game and she asked him to go. He said he would do something crazy. He went and got a whole ton of supplies and showed up at my house, we then proceeded to make a MASSIVE poster… it was roughly 4 feet by 50 feet. We spray painted “Emina u rock my world” on it and let it dry and folded it up. We got to the football game and of couse whalen was going nuts thinking maybe everything would go to hell. He called Phil to come help out. We were about to do it then Emina lost her bag or something so we had to wait, then a player got injured and they had to call the ambulance… so we waited and waited. So there Phil and I are holding this massive cloth thing on PVC pipe on the Muir side. Whalen is over with Emina on the GHS side. He texts “go” and Phil and I unravel the beast. It really was massive, longer than one of the benches in the bleachers. Whalen said you could see it clearly from the other side of the field. Phil and I eventually took it down and strode over and Emina was going all nuts and the such. She kept it and we took off. Whalen couldn’t shut up about her. Anyways ya, succesful execution of operation happy damsel. Tomorrow i get to go see some taiko drums at the Occidental College with my girlfriend Emily YAY!!! When i get back from that ill write about it and bless your eyes with my beautiful writing You can view the making of the ginormous poster of love on my flickr account. Just scroll down the page you should see 3 small thumbnail picture on the left somewhere click that and enjoy.

news…ish

Well if your reading this and you visit my blog… i dont know how many people that is but anyways.  New layout new header image… enjoy?  With wordpress it only took like 5 seconds for all the changes.   I saw the Halo Wars trailer, going to be an RTS based in the Halo universe.  Since Enseble Studios is making the game it should be good even though it is there first console RTS.  They made Age of Empires though so i have faith.  Doom also came out on xbox live arcade, I need to go get some microsoft point and buy it.  Considering they added multiplayer and co-op im excited.  The bungie.org faceplate contest ended recently, you can view the winners here.  I finished reading the Dark Elf trilogy, it is part of the forgotten realms series.  It explains how Drizzy Do’urden came to be.  It is a GREAT series of books I highly recommend them… I have nothing else to speak about at the moment… maybe in a bit or so i have no clue.  My new friend Stephen at Daily does a gaming vidcast,  I would like to give props to his podcast but cant seem to remember the link.  Good old forgetful me, anyways ill try and update more regularily.  Dont get your hopes up though

make love not warcraft

The new episode of South Park… in the world of warcraft. I loved this episode so much. It was definately one of the funniest episodes ever. I love South Park and I hope the make more episodes dramatizing things in life to utter insanity. It is hilarious, if you haven’t seent he episode you owe it to yourself to see it. not a long post i know… too preoccupied thinking of my girlfriend in my tired mood. When I finally think of something to rant about ill post it.

…

it has been a while since i made a post… Anyways ya dont have anything to really report. Nintendo Wii looks like it actually might pwn the whole console market. There are some really cool looking games coming out for the 360. I went up to Clark today to see my girlfriend Emily… YAY!!! It was great to see her. um Daily rules, and i have to go do some chores before people get home. If i think of something intresting to rant about later ill make another post.